If you are a parent, you have probably felt at some point or another that you just cannot seem to whip the kids into shape with endless consequences. First you take away a privilege or a toy, then another, then a time-out, then another thing…
Maybe it is time to start RE-focusing on solutions and WHERE you DO want to go, rather than where you DO NOT want to go.
It has been said that when driving in the snow if you fixate on where you do not want to go (ie the guardrail, or the street sign, or telephone pole) then you will naturally drift closer to those things… Conversely, if you focus on where you do want to go, your body naturally corrects and you make it more probable that you will remain safe. Even when you start to slide a little!
4 Tips to Shift your Mindset into Focusing on Solutions
Decide What Behavior You DO Want to See – Ask yourself, “What do I want my child to do instead of the current behavior?” You can call this a “replacement behavior.”
Plan for New Learning – Ask, “How can my child learn this replacement behavior? What skills does he/she need?” Start teaching those skills. Give your child opportunities to practice the new skills.
Allow for Mistakes – on your part and for your child. Mistakes are a part of the learning process. When we are learning something new, we usually make plenty of mistakes along the way. Accept mistakes as part of the learning process. (Remember how many mistakes you made learning to ride a bike!)
Be an Encouraging Parent – Adopt an attitude of encouragement when teaching your child new skills and working through the mistakes that will arise during the learning process. Be patient with the process and encourage your child to be patient too and to celebrate baby steps.
You can be a calm and encouraging parent.
Talk to one of our specialists about treatment for behavior-based issues and other conditions by contacting us or calling (630) 969-3233 today.
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